34

Happy Birthday to me...34 years. This birthday finds me in a chilly, rainy German summer which I'm having trouble dealing with. My inner cheerleader is pushing me to find a better attitude. Refuse the idea to wallow at my computer in self pity. STOP looking out the window. You just did it again. Stop looking out the window!

I've downloaded a new weather app that shows a more realistic forecast for the week as the iPhone weather app would show rain as the day's forecast even if it's just a 10% chance. So as you can imagine, my phone has been an endless stream of rain, rain, rain forecasts.

I'm sorry to complain so much. There's much more to life. In fact, this is probably really good for me to experience. This whole move to Germany, and all that preceded it (with Jared traveling) have really made me shape up, grow up, take responsibility, have more confidence. Act my 34 years maybe? I was just hoping for SUMMER, you know? I'll have it again I know. In time.

I just looked out the window again. I think I'd better keep myself moving and busy for the rest of the kid's nap/rest time. Here's to life, the good & bad, the sunshine & rain, the ups & downs.

Hugs from Germany,
Devon

Loving Instagram!
Look for me: devonholzwarth 
It's super duper fun.

The three month check up

Hello hello! I've had friends bugging me to get back to it with the blogging. I'll start slowly but consider this my re-entry :o)

Germany life is going okay. Ups & downs. I have nothing to compare it to really as it is a completely new experience for us. But I'm reserving judgement until I've been here awhile. It has been very rainy lately...this "sun girl" is definitely weather challenged!

In newsy news, Bird turned FOUR on Friday. Hooray for 4!! We had a lovely long weekend with my parents in Kaiserslautern and did some traveling & thrifty shopping (the best kind) in parts of Germany & France. Bird helped make cupcakes and we did singing & presents & celebration with just our little family and my parents. It was very different from birthdays past but totally enjoyable. Sometimes low key is okay.

Jared and I celebrated TWELVE years of marriage yesterday. Woot! We actually celebrated last Thursday night with a yummy French dinner out while my parents babysat.

Phylo dog turned 7. It's hard to believe really. He's still such a puppy in many ways. I think he loves it here (when it's not raining and he misses his walk). He gets to be off leash for walks so he's getting much more exercise than I could give him in California. He also loves the house I think. It's roomy and there's lots of cozy places for lounging :o)

I've been setting up my studio. It's such a great space. I'm the luckiest girl. Bird has started a few days a week of "kindergarten" (they call it that here but it's really preschool). So far so good. She's iffy about it some mornings but I think she's going to ease in and enjoy it. The best part is that we can walk. Yep, just 5 minutes walk. That's totally life changing. And good too, because we still have just one car. Our van is still in CA DMV limbo. Ugh.

Griffin is our Griffybear, almost 15mths old...he's teething hardcore these days and keeping us up at night. Painful. Like 2-4am not sleeping. Or wide awake at 3:45am. Nutty. He and Bird share a room so it can be complicated. But I remember this phase with Bird. Teething is hard for our kids. And for us. It will pass eventually... He's still such a sweetie. He's starting to say lots more words. Books, car, thank you, this, dog, tons of animal sounds. He wants to be a big boy so badly. We have him out of his high chair and he climbs by himself into a Stokke like chair with no straps. He wants real sandwiches he can hold in his little mitts. No cut up pieces for him, no thank you.

And what am I planning for my time? A mix of everything. Being mom, squeezing in art & textiles whenever possible, trying to take better care of myself. This is a big adjustment and I'm trying to not apply too much pressure to myself. I've been thrilled to have this beautiful space at the tippity top of the house (3 stories up, like a treehouse!) and have lots of little projects lined up. Painting a pair of mid-century side tables discarded on the street (why thank you!), revamping old lighting finds, framing up artworks. On my desk are fresh illustrations ready to be painted. And after our trip to Nancy, France, my head is spinning with ideas for textile designs.

I'm on Instagram every day...I need to get better about Twitter, and only very occasionally check facebook. But I'd love to see you on Instagram and if you want to keep up with me and what we're doing that's the best place to be. My Instagram name is devonholzwarth.

Hugs from Germany!
Devon

Griffin is ONE

Today is St. Patrick's Day but more importantly to us, it's Griffin's 1st Birthday!!







Before leaving San Jose, we had a big fun party with friends and celebrated our boy's upcoming birthday and our impending departure. It was so amazingly great to spend a few moments with many of our friends and have the chance to give last hugs for at least a little while. Griffy had a lovely time being passed around (still not really walking!) and squeezed, then enjoyed handfuls of chocolate cupcake after we sang him the Birthday song (Bird obligingly blew out his candle).



Dear Griffin,

You are the sweetest little one...I smile every time I think of you. You can play and find fun in just about everything that crosses your gaze. You're cuddly and ferociously affectionate at times (full body hugs, often in the middle of the night). You are who I expected you to be in that you bring a lightness to our family, a sweetness, an attitude that life is better when you're having fun. You don't get mad at your sister when she's less than gentle with you. In fact, you call her in your own unique way when you get up in the morning and realize she's not there. You love our Phylo...maybe a bit much. But he doesn't seem to mind you. You have an appetite for life, and also for food! You love all sorts of things but especially food with real flavor. Spices, olive oil, almost anything off our plates :o) You want big hunks of things and you want to feed yourself. Yesterday you were putting your food on a spoon and attempting to eat with it. You're really into mimicking us and enjoy copying our random sneezes and coughs, then laughing about it. You were almost able to blow out your birthday candle tonight. I know you'll get it soon.







Things that move get you really excited. You love hide and seek. Trains are fascinating. Dogs are intriguing (and you bark quite well). You've taken 3 or 4 steps at a time and practice at random moments. You still try to eat little rocks at parks and playgrounds (sigh). You love to be held and you love snuggles. Diaper changes are a waste of your time apparently. You have the grabbiest fingers I've ever seen on a kid (disastrous!) and you're loving our crazy tiny table here at the apartment in Aachen as you can reach everyone's plates :o) You love books & when we read to you. You're starting to babble on and on and have little conversations. You still don't sleep well at night but we're getting ready to move you in with your big sister soon anyway (you two will work it out).






This past year with you has been amazing Griffin! What a journey it's been. A year ago today I never would have imagined we'd be moving to Germany and you'd have your little childhood here. What fun for you and Bird and for all of us to have together. Can't wait for many adventures ahead with you.

All my love, Mama

A few pics from before the move :o)

On the way out

10 days left till the big move.

We've painted the house
found a property manager
found renters
installed gutters
fixed the landscaping & watering issues
sold/given away much of our stuff
rehomed our cat Sanguine
sold Jared's car
set myself up with great art materials until our stuff arrives in Europe
purchased an indoor swing for our kiddos (!)
bought our tickets & reserved a spot for Phylo
sold our Bob stroller and got a used double
secured temporary housing
started searching for a house to rent
cancelled magazine subscriptions
scheduled the packers/movers for next Wed/Thurs
ordered our last Amazon items (replacement pedometer Griffy flushed down the toilet)
planned a trip to Nice, France for 3 weeks after we get to Germany (!!)
removed everything from the walls & patched
rehomed large art & sold the huge tv
reupholstered my favorite chairs
taken every one to the dentist
stocked up on probiotics
researched German language teaching programs
scheduled monthly maintenance with landscaping service
scheduled painters to finish woodwork painting after we're gone
etc etc

Still so much left to do...lots of walls & trim to paint, mulch to lay, prepping for packers.

We're going to be so tired of working we'll be so excited to go.

I'm easing my anxiety about the whole thing by telling myself it's a long vacation. That way it feels temporary and fun and gives me a sense of adventure about the whole deal. Everything's mental, and everything is about attitude. I'm trying to keep mine upbeat and positive. I mean, how lucky are we to have this opportunity?

Hugs, Devon

ps: I'm on Instagram almost every day - my name on the site is "devonholzwarth". However, once we're over in Germany there will be a lapse in my iPhone use since I'll need to get a new European phone contract. I'll keep in touch via my macbook as best as possible :o)

Auf wiedersehen!

Griffin is 11 months

Griffin is 11 months old + 2 weeks :o) We are actually having a 1st birthday party for him this weekend since we'll be in Germany when he turns 1 officially. It will be nice to have both experiences I think: loud, kids, friends, backyard fun here in California & simple, just mom & dad/Bird/grandparents, maybe a picnic with cupcakes over in Germany (and maybe inside because it'll probably be rainy & chilly!).

He continues to be such a delightful lovebug who doesn't sleep well at night. We joke that he's a perfect baby so it's inevitable he needs a flaw, such as screaming for 2+ hours last night between the hours of 1:30 and 4:30am.

 2 more teeth are coming in, that will make 6!

 So far he has said "car" and "go" and quite a bit of "mama" - makes me happy :o) Griffy also likes to mimic barking dogs.

Over the weekend he took his first steps!! He's been able to balance on his own for a while now and seems to be interested in the next big thing. Exciting, scary. Griffin also is in the phase of putting absolutely every tiny little thing in his mouth. In the house, outside, in the car, wherever. It stinks. Especially as we're prepping the house for renters and packing up for moving. And there's the climbing...I have a feeling he'll be on the table tops before we know it.

 Hugs, Devon
xo

Griffin is 10 months old

Griffin turned 10 months old on Tuesday. It's amazing that he is just two months from turning ONE - where did all the time go? It's so true all the things I've heard about it going by so fast. Of course the memories from certain things are still intense (the reflux through 6mths comes to mind).

Griffy you are such a treat. You are not the best sleeper but I don't mind so much these days. I know there will be a time when you will sleep well on your own and you will no longer pull yourself up to the side of the crib and bounce and jiggle with complaint that I'm not picking you up fast enough.



Today you stood for a good 10 seconds on your own and clapped your hands. Yes, bravo, little man - bravo! You also figured out how to remove the caps from your sister's markers and really enjoyed the black one for the 3.5 seconds before I pried it from your extremely firm grasp. You were not so happy to give up the marker and of course went looking for more. And I of course handed you a screw top variety - try that one kid. And you probably will. I'm scared.



You love books - we read with you before every nap and bedtime and you talk along and grab the pages and fuzzy parts. At other times you wrestle them, gnaw on them, and simply enjoy the heck out of playing with them. I don't usually intervene, unless you're actually ripping pages and then attempting to eat the paper.



You love your sister...you look for her when she's not around and when you hear her voice you call out so sweetly. "Deh?" She's not enamored with your hair pulling loving enthusiasm, but often remarks on how cute you are. So far you've not held any grudge toward her toy stealing, biting (less of this lately thank goodness), "accidental" bumping into, etc., etc. She can do no wrong in your eyes. I love watching you guys play together.



We finally got your passport...so little in your picture. Now we are all ready for Germany. So many adventures ahead.



In the morning you'll happily hang out in your high chair for a few minutes (we did have to recently fashion a seat belt - whatever happened to the other one who knows) and eat a rice cracker while morning busy-ness in the kitchen takes place. Bird often wants one too and you're happy to "feed" anyone willing to offer a mouth.



You enjoy feeding yourself and especially like blueberries and tomatoes, just like your sister :o) I don't think you've turned down anything we've offered you.



You are such a delight. At 10 months you are really showing so much of who YOU are and it's a joy to watch. Playful, determined, curious, engaging, and so very sweet. We love you Griffybear. :o)

Hugs and Kisses, Mama

The eve of a New Year

2012 is minutes away...I write this knowing that the year ahead of us will be so different than this past one. Not necessarily easier, but definitely different. That's been a huge lesson for me this year. That so much of our own life is beyond our control, and maybe it's a really good thing.

Tomorrow Jared leaves again for Germany for two weeks. It'll be the 4th trip he's made since taking the new job and he'll have two more trips after this one. Being a single parent to a 3.5yo and a now 9mth old has been something that has changed me more than most things. I have so much respect for single parents!! Being on my own with our kids through our typical daily grind plus managing our Herculean effort toward readying our house for renting out, and preparing to move everyone to Germany...I've been completely pooped much of the time. I can't even imagine if I were trying to work right now too.

I'm so excited to go...and so hesitant to leave.

I hope for a fresh perspective on many things, especially in my art and related pursuits. I can't wait to set up a new super sweet studio space that has me inspired to paint & illustrate, design fabric & sell my work both small from my shop & on a larger scale as well.

I hope for our family that we will cherish this time together in a new place. Knowing that all you really need when you go someplace new is each other. And with no almost 100yo house to work on, we should have more time to enjoy on other things like travel (4hr drive to Paris!) and biking and cooking and making things.

So right now I'm looking ahead with a smile but bracing myself for the next two weeks and all the busy-ness ahead. Griffy has been having a terrible time with teething and we are up for hours at a time at night with him screaming :( It's been going on for days. Bird has been a lot of fun lately (3.5 is very interesting, & cheeky!) but also has been pushing buttons as fast as she can. I found myself saying "if she didn't push the boundaries, she would never know what they are" - that was when I realized someone was praying for me to have a good attitude ;o) We watch more movies & live more simply when Jared is gone but I'm not letting myself feel guilty for this strange bit of time between California & Germany life.

It will all get done...and we will look back and be proud of how we got through what has definitely been the most stretching time in our lives so far! I'm thankful for how we are being shaped, even though it's often painful. Being a single mom for weeks at a time has taught me to be a better mom and I've never had to be more responsible for so many things at once before. Because of this my confidence level has grown tremendously - I really feel like I can handle so much more! I'm so excited to inject this new confidence into my business in 2012 and hopefully into taking better care of myself as well (exercise and eating well has not been the biggest priority - this needs to change!). I also hope to be as sincere & honest as possible...with you, with me. There's no reason not to.

Hugs & well wishes for a New Year 2012!!
Devon

Happy Halloween!

Bird was the cutest cowgirl this year...she practiced a lot of giddyup's! and yeehaw's! and had been wearing bits and pieces of her costume for close to a month. We had so much fun last night :o)



No pics to share of Griffy in his stegosaurus costume - it was super cute. There are some pics on my phone but it was getting dark and he is a wiggly 7 month old. So you can imagine how not so great the shots are. I was a woodland fairy (sort of)...holding a whining/screaming baby in one arm while trying to paint leaves on my cheek with the other. Then he nursed and promptly fell asleep. I was going to feel so guilty getting him into a costume while asleep, then thankfully he woke from a 20 minute slumber and was good to go :o) Trooper.

We went with my lovely friend Mrs. Potato Head and her furry friend Hans dressed adorably in a sailor coat.

Happy Halloween everyone, and now on to November and December and other fun things ahead!

Hugs, Devon