Saturday, December 31, 2011

The eve of a New Year

2012 is minutes away...I write this knowing that the year ahead of us will be so different than this past one. Not necessarily easier, but definitely different. That's been a huge lesson for me this year. That so much of our own life is beyond our control, and maybe it's a really good thing.

Tomorrow Jared leaves again for Germany for two weeks. It'll be the 4th trip he's made since taking the new job and he'll have two more trips after this one. Being a single parent to a 3.5yo and a now 9mth old has been something that has changed me more than most things. I have so much respect for single parents!! Being on my own with our kids through our typical daily grind plus managing our Herculean effort toward readying our house for renting out, and preparing to move everyone to Germany...I've been completely pooped much of the time. I can't even imagine if I were trying to work right now too.

I'm so excited to go...and so hesitant to leave.

I hope for a fresh perspective on many things, especially in my art and related pursuits. I can't wait to set up a new super sweet studio space that has me inspired to paint & illustrate, design fabric & sell my work both small from my shop & on a larger scale as well.

I hope for our family that we will cherish this time together in a new place. Knowing that all you really need when you go someplace new is each other. And with no almost 100yo house to work on, we should have more time to enjoy on other things like travel (4hr drive to Paris!) and biking and cooking and making things.

So right now I'm looking ahead with a smile but bracing myself for the next two weeks and all the busy-ness ahead. Griffy has been having a terrible time with teething and we are up for hours at a time at night with him screaming :( It's been going on for days. Bird has been a lot of fun lately (3.5 is very interesting, & cheeky!) but also has been pushing buttons as fast as she can. I found myself saying "if she didn't push the boundaries, she would never know what they are" - that was when I realized someone was praying for me to have a good attitude ;o) We watch more movies & live more simply when Jared is gone but I'm not letting myself feel guilty for this strange bit of time between California & Germany life.

It will all get done...and we will look back and be proud of how we got through what has definitely been the most stretching time in our lives so far! I'm thankful for how we are being shaped, even though it's often painful. Being a single mom for weeks at a time has taught me to be a better mom and I've never had to be more responsible for so many things at once before. Because of this my confidence level has grown tremendously - I really feel like I can handle so much more! I'm so excited to inject this new confidence into my business in 2012 and hopefully into taking better care of myself as well (exercise and eating well has not been the biggest priority - this needs to change!). I also hope to be as sincere & honest as possible...with you, with me. There's no reason not to.

Hugs & well wishes for a New Year 2012!!


Miss Mommy said...

LOVE this post!!

Candace Trew Camling said...

I can't wait to see and hear all about your adventures in Germany with your wonderful family! Looking forward to it!!! (from my couch in Iowa!!) :)

Wendy said...

you have such an admirable perspective on all these recent challenges. i can't imagine being on my own for 2 weeks. best wishes for your 2012 with all the changes ahead!

Laura Zarrin said...

I'm so excited for your new adventure! Just let go of the guilt. A few months of movies & simplicity won't hurt anyone. Whatever keeps the stress down is a good thing. I've been through an occasional 2 wk time with little bitty kids, but I had parent help. You should be proud you're making it through!

Not having the house to deal with will open up so much time, energy, and worry, too. How exciting! Living in Germany will do so much for your art, I'm both jealous and excited to hear and see it all take shape. Even if your business stays small while you're there, it will have an amazing influence for later. Just be in the moment. There will be so many to enjoy and savor. Be a sponge.

Sandi said...

I am so proud of you!! You are beautifully prepared for the wonder of all that is ahead of you. We can't wait to visit you one more time in San Jose and then back to Germany for us!!! I absolutely love praying for you. As the Message translation of John 1:14 describes the one who is answering my prayers "The Son is like the Father, Generous inside and out true from start to finish."