Saturday, December 31, 2011
The eve of a New Year
2012 is minutes away...I write this knowing that the year ahead of us will be so different than this past one. Not necessarily easier, but definitely different. That's been a huge lesson for me this year. That so much of our own life is beyond our control, and maybe it's a really good thing.
Tomorrow Jared leaves again for Germany for two weeks. It'll be the 4th trip he's made since taking the new job and he'll have two more trips after this one. Being a single parent to a 3.5yo and a now 9mth old has been something that has changed me more than most things. I have so much respect for single parents!! Being on my own with our kids through our typical daily grind plus managing our Herculean effort toward readying our house for renting out, and preparing to move everyone to Germany...I've been completely pooped much of the time. I can't even imagine if I were trying to work right now too.
I'm so excited to go...and so hesitant to leave.
I hope for a fresh perspective on many things, especially in my art and related pursuits. I can't wait to set up a new super sweet studio space that has me inspired to paint & illustrate, design fabric & sell my work both small from my shop & on a larger scale as well.
I hope for our family that we will cherish this time together in a new place. Knowing that all you really need when you go someplace new is each other. And with no almost 100yo house to work on, we should have more time to enjoy on other things like travel (4hr drive to Paris!) and biking and cooking and making things.
So right now I'm looking ahead with a smile but bracing myself for the next two weeks and all the busy-ness ahead. Griffy has been having a terrible time with teething and we are up for hours at a time at night with him screaming :( It's been going on for days. Bird has been a lot of fun lately (3.5 is very interesting, & cheeky!) but also has been pushing buttons as fast as she can. I found myself saying "if she didn't push the boundaries, she would never know what they are" - that was when I realized someone was praying for me to have a good attitude ;o) We watch more movies & live more simply when Jared is gone but I'm not letting myself feel guilty for this strange bit of time between California & Germany life.
It will all get done...and we will look back and be proud of how we got through what has definitely been the most stretching time in our lives so far! I'm thankful for how we are being shaped, even though it's often painful. Being a single mom for weeks at a time has taught me to be a better mom and I've never had to be more responsible for so many things at once before. Because of this my confidence level has grown tremendously - I really feel like I can handle so much more! I'm so excited to inject this new confidence into my business in 2012 and hopefully into taking better care of myself as well (exercise and eating well has not been the biggest priority - this needs to change!). I also hope to be as sincere & honest as possible...with you, with me. There's no reason not to.
Hugs & well wishes for a New Year 2012!!